'Twas the Eve Before My Birthday...

So
I saw a certain movie tonight
And I have one thing to say to you all
GO AHEAD AND TRY TO TELL ME THAT LEGOLAS IS NOT FREAKING AWESOME. GO ON. TRY.

*this blog will now resume its previous silence*

P.S. Met a lady with a Russian accent today #whoswinning #ohyeahme #booyah

By popular request... Butterflies: Take 3

I'm never going to get away from this butterfly thing, am I? I've actually seen a few loners a lot lately and I've been okay.
Wait... I didn't notice just how many I've seen in the past week until now.
Crap, they're coming back, aren't they?
Crap crap crap crap

~~~~~~~

Ignore that. That never happened.

Actually it did and I stopped breathing for a second there guys. They aren't coming back, right? They're gone until spring, RIGHT?!?! WHY HAVE I NEVER PAID ATTENTION TO WHEN BUTTERFLIES ARE AROUND BEFORE THIS? I can't Google it because there will be pictures and I don't do as well with pictures as I used to!!!

Can someone please figure that out for me? K thx.

Anyorange, the horrible back story.

BACK STORY TIIIIIIIIIME! (If I need to tell you that this is a little dramatized then you can go now)

It all started when I was looking through Google images at pictures of butterflies. I'd always hated bugs and been pretty terrified of their faces, but looked at butterflies as an exception to the gross bug face rule.
Not so, friends, not so.

In truth, I had been oblivious to the fact that butterflies' faces were and are just as, if not more, gross than regular not-pretty bugs.

It felt like my world was crashing in.

Lol jk, I was just really freaked. I don't think I even screamed, I just shut the laptop really quickly or something.

Now, you should all know the context a little bit better- while I have no idea when this actually happened, I do know that it was at a point in my personal development where I was not at all at peace with my crazy streak, so I had never experienced this before. What do you do when you're an awkward preteen-ish and you're facing a new and scary thing? You ignore it, of course.

So I did, but, ever so slowly, my fear ate away at my subconscious. That's the tricky thing about fear- people think that you can control it, but you can't. It's always there, in the back of your head, creeping, waiting...

Okay, movie moment over. I'm sorry if I freaked you guys out XD

Seriously, all that happened was I saw a picture of one's face and the phobia I'm now experiencing is just a stunted response to the same paralyzing fear I once had of all bugs other than butterflies.

I love this one :D

Happy last week of August!

Just When You Thought Gluten-Free Cookies Couldn't Get Any Worse, They Go and Get Themselves Freezer-burned

So I told some people the story of this blog post here yesterday and they all thought I was crazy. THEN my dad took out Baby's American Girl doll, propped it up so it was staring straight at me, and wouldn't let anyone move it! Oh well. I don't really care anyway, he did it in public so that means people will be more likely to overlook the things that are too crazy and I say out loud by accident.
Moral of the story- restrict ALL conspiracy theories to the confines of your blog.

Anyway, I decided to talk about having a puppy today, since I now have a puppy. Technically he's not mine, but, really, he's mine. Confused yet? Good.
(The explanation of that, if you want to be boring, reads as follows- we're fostering this puppy, so he's not mine, but his personality is 100% perfect for me. He tries to eat all bugs, especially moths and butterflies, and is afraid of pretty much anything that makes noise)

Taking a puppy outside is like a new adventure pretty much every time, which is saying something since we have to take him outside at least once an hour. Everything is magical and must be picked up- sticks, they've been handed to me. Those orange flags that are put in your lawn for reasons no one quite understands, he ran up half the house with one once. Leaves, just had a particularly green specimen brought through the front door.

Does anybody else have that hole in their yard that leads to the sewer and you can like see and smell it and it used to have a cover that shattered when it got run over by the lawnmower? Well, that thing is like Hades or something.

Aren't butterflies supposed to be all dead by now? Yes? No?
It wouldn't surprise me if I have mutant evil winged beasts around my house that can survive scorching weather and do so just to torment me and my poor dog. Oh, and I've found two people in the past two weeks who agreed with me that butterflies are freaky so TAKE THAT YOU LITTLE CREEPS.

Ahem.

Switching gears now (since the dog thing didn't really go as I expected it to), I just made an email for this blog. Why? I have no clue. I think I just wanted a weird email address since mine is so boring (no, internet stalkers- you're not getting my real email). The blog email is thesmurfsarecoming@gmail.com and I will probably check it like once every five weeks so use that to comfort yourselves when I completely ignore your email. Mwahahahaha >:)

What good blog post of mine is complete without a hipster edit? No good blog post, of course!

Happy Monday!

My Dog Stole my Hair Tie and Now I Can't Pull my Hair Back Because, Apparently, That Was the Only One Within Four Feet of Me

I would apologize for the random and looooong post title, but I don't care. Muahahahaha.

Basically, this is the most bored I've been in ages. Months, at least.

Stupid school.

To solve this I did some Algebra, which was the worst idea ever. I don't know what is wrong with me sometimes... I mean seriously who thinks that math is a legitimate solution to anything (no pun intended)?

Then I started some research for a presentation on handwriting analysis I have/get to do while checking my email five million times to see if anyone had emailed me (they hadn't).

All this to say- I need a boyfriend.

No, I'm joking. I don't actually need a boyfriend, although it might be fun to have one... okay, y'all can stop freaking out right now- I have absolutely no intentions of dating anyone for like fifteen years. At least.

Anyway, I actually just wanted an excuse to post some hipster edits, because I've got like 36 or something on my computer and they are all begging to be posted.

Happy August 22nd's Eve!

P.S. I'm not trying to make "P.S. Did you know" a thing, but DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE MORE CUBANS IN MIAMI THAN IN THE CAPITAL OF CUBA?????

You know, I think the title was longer than the actual post... I should work on that.

Marshmallow-pelting and Spoon-stabbing Moods

If you're a girl, you probably know what I'm talking about in the title. Heck, if you're a guy you might know too- being a girl myself I wouldn't know.

Anyway, having recently been (and may still be) in one of these moods, I'm pretty much an expert. Here's the general progression of events- see if you can relate to any of this:

1. One thing that is always the same for me is how these start- Taylor Swift. Whether or not I actually listen to TSwift varies, but I consistently want to listen to some particular song, usually "Mine" or "Speak Now" or "You Belong With Me." They aren't even necessarily my favorites, so I don't know why it tends to be those, but I don't know a lot of things so that's not new.
2. Next, I start overthinking everything that everyone says. Every. Little. Thing. All to absolutely no purpose, but it is pretty annoying.
3. After that's over, I'm particularly obliging. Pretty much anything that you ask me to do I'll do without a second thought.
4. Then I sleep. A lot.
5. And, finally, "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons gets stuck in my head. Technically, I could just listen to it before all of this happens and I'd be fine, but that's not very fun, is it?

I'm not the only person this happens to, am I? I'm gonna go back to my Imagine Dragons marathon...

Happy August 20th!

P.S. DID YOU KNOW THAT APPLE PIE WAS INVENTED IN EUROPE? MY LIFE IS A LIE.

I Know, I'm a Horrible Person

Hello everybody! So, I was feeling like a terrible, awful person who hadn't posted in a long time, so I decided to tell you about when my family went out to this Chinese buffet on 34 last Sunday.

As you can imagine, my family rarely has "normal" outings, and this wasn't really too much of an exception. When we first got there, there were about 3 employees around, and, of course, they were all Chinese.
BUT- they all had accents.

I'm (naturally) very suspicious of such people, so I started telling Kid Brother about it.

Me: "I bet these people don't even have real accents. They're probably all just faking it."
KB: "What?"
Me: "When you go to a Chinese restaurant, what do you expect of the people that work there? They all have to be Chinese, and they should all have accents, otherwise it's not authentic. So, they have to have accents here, but, for all we know, when that guy right there leaves and goes to his class at Georgia Tech he's just Steve from Colorado and-"
Dad: "Buddy, you gotta understand something: when Constance gets like this, you have my full permission to just ignore her and start talking over her."
Me: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "WHAT???"
KB: "Okay. Hey, did you know that blah-blah-Skylanders-blah..."

That was just really rude. Besides, that's not far-fetched, is it? I thought I was being perfectly logical for once!

KB also got one of those amazing doughnuts, took a bite of it, stood up, and then threw it down onto his plate, declaring it "too doughy." I don't know what he was expecting of a doughnut, though, I mean honestly...

All three of my siblings also argued about which preparation of imitation crab was the best, which was mildly amusing, but not very notable in light of everything else that happened that day.

I just think we would make the best reality TV show ever.

Happy Monday!

Best English Class Ever.

Yesterday I had an English class with one of the teachers that I didn't actually even previously think was cool, which I'm now wondering how I ever thought, because yesterday was seriously the most fun I've ever had in English.

Okay so before class started we were all talking about superhero movies (specifically Iron Man 3 and Man of Steel) and then one of the girls said, "Why are we talking about superheroes?" and then all of the guys started defending their choice of conversation, while I said "Well, I think last time I was in a class we talked about pop bands, so I guess we have to give the guys one every now and then." She agreed so we kept on talking until class started.

The class was about poetry, and nothing much happened then except Mr. Buys told the guys that they should memorize Sonnet #14 because someday they'll date a girl who'll find it romantic and all of their responses (and some of the girls' vehement denials) were absolutely hysterical.

After it was over and he said we could start talking again there's always an awkward pause so to break it up I said, "So. Smurfs." and everybody started laughing, but unbeknownst to me Mr. Buys was still online and said "Constance wants to talk about smurfs now because she's sick of talking about superheroes," and I started cracking up but then he kept going with, "How about a superhero smurf?" So then we were all like "Oh yeah, Smurf Man" and stuff like that and he says "I know! Man of Smurf." and I died.

Then everybody left except for me and Christine and we just fangirled over Doctor Who until Mr. Buys closed it.

Yep, so basically my English class is cooler than your English class.

'kay bye.